Meditation, World Peace, & Seeing Spirit Guides

I decided to meditate tonight under the stars. The moon is a waxing crescent (06/27/2017) which means it is a perfect time to say thanks for what you have, as well as making requests for what you would like to attract into your life, or pose questions. People get wrapped up in the asking for things and then they spend the next thirty days doing things to discourage whatever IT is into their life. Then they get mad because they didn’t get what they asked for. It’s a vicious cycle people find themselves in constantly.

I like asking questions and I like waiting for the answers to appear. I feel less greedy and the answers typically guide me towards previously unfound insight.

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So, while I was meditating… my mind did what most peoples minds do when they meditate; they talk to themselves about the dumbest crap. Peoples minds do this because we haven’t taken the time to learn how to control our own minds (much less anything else in our lives).

With patience, perseverance and self-love you can, in time, overcome this obstacle. Right now I am finding myself in a position where I catch myself talking to myself, or in imaginary situations that are entirely unreal, and I have the mind to stop myself. My biggest trick in overcoming the self talk, day-dream-esque imaginary stories, and experiences, is saying, “We can have this experience another time. Right now it’s time for me to bond with the universe.” Then I force my ears to listen for sounds, I let my muscles re-relax, I keep my eyes closed while also moving my eye balls upwards towards my third eye… and that is when it happens.



I manage to shut my mind up long enough to feel something I’ve never felt before I decided to start meditating. Each time I meditate the feeling is slightly different from every other one, but they’re all similar as well. It’s like love… there’s love for your mom, love for your pet, then there’s intimate love… they’re all different, but somewhat similar. This is the same thing and I don’t know how else to describe it than me “bonding with the universe.” I hate using the word God because then it creates this image of whatever that person thinks “God” looks like. I like saying universe because it’s something we can look at after the sun has set and it’s something we don’t fully understand in science either. But when you find yourself sitting under the stars at 1AM; there it is… the entire universe and we don’t really get it. For centuries our ancestors have been looking at the same stars feeling the same thing you feel when you look at it. There’s so much we don’t know.

So to all the things we don’t know; I reference the universe. Our species will die off and repopulate the earth having lost all the information gained since the beginning of recorded history. It will all start over again.

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Mother Earth is a real living thing. It has always dealt with a virus in whatever way it had to. Humans, in my opinion only, are a virus. We are overpopulating, polluting and draining the planet of all its resources. If we continue on this path and haven’t managed to blow ourselves up with a nuclear bomb, or whatever fun gadget people think up in our future, the planet will kill us off however it needs to so it can repair itself.

In my meditation I remembered a time when I had an experience with my spirit guide. I blacked out at a friends house. Yes, you read that right, my eyes rolled into the back of my head and I fell straight onto my back. That friend thought I died. While I was blacked out I found myself in a foggy space. There was an iron table with an umbrella and two iron chairs. My spirit guide was dressed like he always was. He had a dark navy blue suit on, bronze colored buttons, zippers and cufflinks. He had his pocket watch in his pocket and the chain hanging out. He’s very distinguished in the face while still having facial hair and light colored eyes. In his beard, mustache and hair there are random collections of white hair. He’s aging but not old.

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I didn’t recall how I got there nor did it ever cross my mind to ask those questions. I wanted to know how to make world peace real. (What made me ask that questions eludes me to this day.)

After a small discussion, he said, “World Peace is possible, but only if every person on earth agrees and maintains to be compassionate, kind, and considerate. They don’t all have to agree, or see eye to eye, but they must maintain peacefulness. They can’t give into the feelings of greed, jealousy or hate. Peace comes when you have understanding. If you’re truly compassionate, you will be able to understand where the other person/party is coming from. If you are truly kind you will treat others the way you want to be treated; with dignity and respect. If you are considerate, you won’t fail to show that you are thinking about more than just yourself. As simple as that may be… people forget that they want to be happy instead of angry, or fulfilled instead of satiated, or thankful instead of self-defeating. People forget because it is easier to lay blame and people think they are happy while beating others down. It makes others feel powerful when they have pushed a person down for their own desires. They forget that those negative feelings leads to guilt and karma, even though they provide immediate relief. Life in its entirety is a test of patience. Be patient, be still, and be thankful.”

I started hearing my name echoing in the background but I couldn’t tell who it was. I continued the discussion on world peace but whoever was screaming my name was getting louder. It made it hard to talk and I couldn’t hear my spirit guide over the sound of my name being screamed out numerous times.

Out of frustration I stood up from the chair and held my index finger up. I yelled as loud as I could, “Let me find out what’s going on and I’ll be right back. I have so many questions.” He shook his head and said “sure” with a sarcastic tone. I didn’t understand.

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That’s when my eyes shot open. I found myself laying in a bed, my entire body from head to toe was covered in sweat droplets, I felt like I was freezing, my body was as stiff as a board, and my friend was looking into my eyes screaming my name. I had muscle aches for about a week after that experience. My body was in excruciating pain immediately after the experience.

I obviously blacked out for a medical reason that I never really figured out but maybe the universe used it as an opportunity to have a talk. I couldn’t argue with my spirit guides words. It made perfect sense to me. None of us need to change our interests, clothes, beliefs or anything… we just need to change how every single one of us deals with one another. We don’t have to agree, but we should live and let live. We should choose love over hate every time. That’s all there is to it.

I thank the universe for that vivid dream. I’ll never forget it.

Love & Light to you all.




The Invitation & Preparation

I’ve been preparing for a long distance hike for a few weeks now. I’ve been invited multiple times in the past by my good friend Ross, who adventures around the world and used to be an Army paratrooper, to join in with him. I always had a reason why I couldn’t though. I had a child, I had bills, I had a job, I had a car payment; I had a lot of reasons that would justify my not joining him. What I did know was if I ever decided to run away and go on an adventure it would be with him.

In the last few years since his initial invitation from Ross my life took a drastic change for the worse. I lost my job at the casino I loved working for, I lost my apartment that I decorated and made personal, I lost my car that I named and had an attachment to… I lost everything including my daughter, who now lives with her father. I found myself in and out of a pill and spice addiction (two things that shouldn’t be used especially combined). I found myself suicidal, anti social, anti everything and very self-destructive. All my belongings fit in two bags and a purse. I lost practically everything.

My sister and brother-in-law saved me. They moved me back to my hometown of San Diego California and took me into their home. I quit taking pills, I quit smoking spice and I got a job at a call center that sold wine. I climbed the office ladder and in less than a year was supervising anywhere from 20 to 40 phone agents efficiently and with much confidence. I had thousands of dollars worth of dental work done and was moving quickly to “better” myself or so I thought.

I became irritated with the office politics, didn’t know how to cope with it and a job offer from another call center enticed me. I quit my job and transferred believing I was working towards a better me. I found myself in a situation that was no better. I didn’t feel satisfied. I still felt empty, depressed and hating my life.

I worked hard to try and be independent and yet I hadn’t improved my life much; I was still under the care of my compassionate sister and brother-in-law, and my belongings fit into the trunk of the Saturn Ion they had let me use to transport myself to work and back home.

Long story short, that job fell through the cracks and I found myself right at the same place I was when I got off that airplane and landed in San Diego California a year and half prior. I found myself jobless yet again and had nothing to show for my hard work except a Level 2 WSET Certificate that proved I learned the basics about wine.

I sat up late one night, unable to sleep due to the crazy thoughts that ran through my brain. I remembered Ross invitation to go on an adventure. The last I heard he was hiking the Pacific Crest Trail. He wanted me to join him on that adventure but it never happened. At this moment, sitting in the dark all alone, I realized I had no excuses. I had so few belongings it was silly, no job, no child, no bills… I had nothing. I found Ross on Facebook and messaged him.

He only made it 300 miles into the PCT due to a damaged Achilles tendon. As unfortunate as that event was for him it gave me a reason to join him. I don’t want him to be alone on some crazy adventure like that ever again! He is my friend and I love him.

His next venture would be on the Arizona Trail from Phoenix to Utah. This time I wanted to join. I have to be prepared by March of 2016 and that is what I am doing. Here we go.